Learning Curve

2012.  What a strange year this has been!
I think that I've experienced every facet of up and down as our planet made it's annual orbit around the sun.

My job of 10 years came to an end;
One of my dearest relatives passed away;
I emotionally hit rock bottom;
But...

My band finally got signed to a record label;
I conquered Tough Mudder;
Two of my best friends were wed;
Yes...

My eternal battle with will power and mental strength started leaning in my favor.  I learned more about my own personal survival than at any other time in my life.  I'm a stronger dude.

My, my, my.

I kept telling myself that 2012 was "The Year of the Push", and boy, was it ever. So what will 2013 be the year of?  To tell the truth, I don't want there to be any expectations.  It's time to stop living in the future.  As The Clash made very clear, "The Future Is Unwritten".  Why worry about something that will happen regardless of my involvement in it?  All I can do is steer myself to the points I want to reach, day by day.  As long as I have that perspective, and make the most of whatever is put in front of me, I'll be just fine.

The family and friends I have are the most beloved and loyal beings on earth.  To live for them is to live for myself.  I have no interest in being selfish; there is no happiness living that way, just false "riches".  I'd be nowhere on my own.  There is no such thing as "self-made"; whoever claims that fails to recognize the opportunities that others have given them and claims them as there own, so again, no selfish living for this guy.  Maybe it's in my mentality after being in a band for so long, I don't know.

But I'm happy.

So 2012, you may have kicked my ass in at certain times, but I definitely got in some devastating karate chops.  Listen up, 2013:  I'm coming for you!  And I've got some prize fighters in my corner to back me up!!

Fever Dreams

Last night I dreamt that I was sleeping in my bed
In the astral plane, I was awoken by a figure entering my room
At first I thought it was a young woman, but then it's shape shifted
It became a large man, not fat, but big in proportions
He was bald with a thin moustache, wearing a simple, button-up, white shirt
Suspenders and simple dark slacks
He was clutching a bowler hat at his chest by the brim,
Like a guy from the early 20th century asking for a job
The main characteristic was his head
Aside from the moustache, it was white,
but as he stood in my room, his head gradually changed from light pink to fire red
This occurring didn't seem to effect the man at all
He showed no signs of pain or discomfort
Without him saying a word, I found myself giving advice
"You seem to have a fever. Take some aspirin and put a cool washcloth on your forehead"
He looked at me and nodded
At this point, I found myself actually waking up into reality, real life
Before I realized this, I was still offering my advice to the man,
Half-asleep/half-awake,
I caught myself saying, "Oh, and don't eat anything...Starve a fever, feed a cold."
By the end of the sentence, my eyes were open in the waking world.
I had been talking in my sleep to a stranger I didn't know (didn't actually exist)
Once I realized this, I chuckled to myself, turned to lay on my left side, and fell back asleep.
I wonder if I talk in my sleep often.