I've got a bone to pick with my brain, which is particularly hard to do considering it is absent of bones. My mind has a mind of it's own, it seems.
Usually I am a fan of dreaming and look forward to sleeping based on this fact, but there are times when my subconscious decides its cool to build a dreamscape out of things I expressly would rather not think about, therefore astrally landing me in the middle of a situation that is emotionally rough.
Those kind of dreams when you wake up and you're thankful at once that it was just a dream, but then it continues to percolate earnestly in your waking life. You don't want to fall back asleep because you might end up right back where you were, but staying awake is a killer too because now you're actively thinking about how the dream affected you. It's some inter-cranial bullshit!
Do these dreams come up from trying to actively suppress these hurt feelings and emotions? Is it even possible to suppress them? If you're trying not to think about something, aren't you thinking about it to NOT think about it? Is there an "Eternal Sunshine" procedure in existence? What I would give to have a little bit of brain damage in place of shitty dreams or thoughts I don't want to think!
It's the worst when you assume you're fine and then something triggers that spark of a thought, and then it snowballs into an all-encompassing avalanche, and then your whole day is ruined, and then you finally drift to sleep, and then you're pelted in the face with snowballs in dreamland.
And what's worst of all is that simply by thinking about this feeling or situation, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you're giving power to it just by thinking about it. That horrible memory (and cause of that horrible memory) wins by occupying your headspace in the first place. Fuck that!
Why would your own brain, designed with fight-or-flight responses to physical danger, not have that same response to emotional attacks? I suppose we're not at that evolutionary stage yet. But then again, if humans did have that kind of wiring, I suppose there would be no such thing as compassion anymore. Any emotionally displeasing thought or situation would be avoided; no more hospice or homeless shelters, therapy or crisis centers. No more moral responsibility.
It's funny what you're motivated to write about when you're awakened from an unpleasant dream; especially if you didn't expect to write it in the first place.
Usually I am a fan of dreaming and look forward to sleeping based on this fact, but there are times when my subconscious decides its cool to build a dreamscape out of things I expressly would rather not think about, therefore astrally landing me in the middle of a situation that is emotionally rough.
Those kind of dreams when you wake up and you're thankful at once that it was just a dream, but then it continues to percolate earnestly in your waking life. You don't want to fall back asleep because you might end up right back where you were, but staying awake is a killer too because now you're actively thinking about how the dream affected you. It's some inter-cranial bullshit!
Do these dreams come up from trying to actively suppress these hurt feelings and emotions? Is it even possible to suppress them? If you're trying not to think about something, aren't you thinking about it to NOT think about it? Is there an "Eternal Sunshine" procedure in existence? What I would give to have a little bit of brain damage in place of shitty dreams or thoughts I don't want to think!
It's the worst when you assume you're fine and then something triggers that spark of a thought, and then it snowballs into an all-encompassing avalanche, and then your whole day is ruined, and then you finally drift to sleep, and then you're pelted in the face with snowballs in dreamland.
And what's worst of all is that simply by thinking about this feeling or situation, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, you're giving power to it just by thinking about it. That horrible memory (and cause of that horrible memory) wins by occupying your headspace in the first place. Fuck that!
Why would your own brain, designed with fight-or-flight responses to physical danger, not have that same response to emotional attacks? I suppose we're not at that evolutionary stage yet. But then again, if humans did have that kind of wiring, I suppose there would be no such thing as compassion anymore. Any emotionally displeasing thought or situation would be avoided; no more hospice or homeless shelters, therapy or crisis centers. No more moral responsibility.
It's funny what you're motivated to write about when you're awakened from an unpleasant dream; especially if you didn't expect to write it in the first place.
